If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize