i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
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i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
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There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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