I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
