Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize