If i come over, it means nothing
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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