She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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