You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
