I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we're making bets on your personal life
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
