I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
