she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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