I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
