I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize