Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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