I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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