I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
