So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
