brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
wrigley field is MILF paradise
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize