Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
