My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
