oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
