More tranny stories later!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
MIDGETS
????
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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