I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
