dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
