But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
