Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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