i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
