my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
