I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
