Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
