I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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