also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
