Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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