the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
