i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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