CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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