It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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