They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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