Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
