just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
