just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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