I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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