If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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