I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
