i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
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I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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