windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she pinky promised me she was 18
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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