so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
