it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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