Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
