Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
