She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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