Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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