He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
