Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
