piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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