So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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