I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
operation have a gay friend backfired
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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