put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
