it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
