Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
