I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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