I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
