woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
