He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
